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September 9, 2011

Ever felt so lonely you wanted to cry? Well, i have, and i know many others have. Sometime’s there’s someone you can talk to, someone you can rely on. But to be honest, there isn’t for me, and, i wish there was. I want to be able to open up to someone, but, there’s never anyone around. And when i’m on the computer there’s no one i trust enough to talk to. I wish i could open up easier and just tell someone i know.

Instead i hold it all in, supressed, and in my own little world. Some would call me pathetic. But i’ve learnt not to trust anyone who knows me. And it hurts, y’know? Even when i hide behind a computer screen i can’t open up. For if i see them in person, i’m afraid they’ll say something, or that they’ll tell someone i know. Someone who doesn’t like me, and trust me, that’s alot of people. Maybe i deserve all this.  I don’t open up to many people, maybe one person, two at a push. Not even family. My family knows little about who i truly am and how i feel. I may only be sizteen, but i still feel the extent of the pain. And i hope and i pray that this is the worst it’ll get.

I want someone to teach me to open up easier, to trust more. To socialise. I’m not very good at that, if i’m around a person(s) i don’t know, i don’t really talk and you’ll hardly get a word out of me. Even if i see them often and alot of my ‘friends’ know them i still won’t really speak. Can you imagine it all? Being isolated, lonely and scared. Scared to tell anyone how you feel. I want to be able to socialise more, but it’s difficult, i don’t know what holds me back. I wish i did…

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