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So Much To Say, Too Few Words

April 2, 2014

Now then, where to start? Damn if I know. I know, that for a long time, I have posted absolutely nothing though the reason for that is that despite all the feelings and thoughts i have i just don’t know the words to use. Eh, here we go…

To start, 6th form. Fuck. Hate it so much. Not long left I know, i just find it really hard to keep motivated to do even the littlest of things. Exams in what, 10 weeks i think i heard? I’ve got 7, Psychology is still not any more of a strong point than i left it at AS. Coursework is mostly done for both English Language and English Literature, though i still have a few things to do; foot notes, bibliographies and the such. Welp, that’s enough of that, i’m there most days, i don’t wanna spend too much time thinking about it.

Feelings have been up and down. I’ve decided that i’m way too bloody nice. I get told that so much that i think i’m starting to believe it. I forgive everyone for everything wrong that they have ever done and then i find some way to make what happened my fault. I beat myself up over things though I know it’s not my fault. I know i should change that about me, but, i don’t think that i want to. Being nice is what makes me who i am. Yeah, i tell them if they’ve done something wrong, but i don’t think i could ever truly hate someone.

Back hurts. Yup; that’s it for this bit.

Love. The four letter word. I both adore and curse it. Though right now, i think i’m adoring it 🙂 (Yeah, a bit of positivity coming, you might want to sit down.) [Also, turns out positivity isn’t a word.] Been talking to a few people lately, old and new friends, they do make me smile. Though there’s this one person right now who i wouldn’t want to stop talking to for the world. They’re fragile, but despite that, they’re strong; there for others, beautiful, kind, loving and they make me smile. Alot. I really want to be there for them, to give them a big hug when they cry and make them smile like they have done for me. May go see them sometime if i’m ever back where i used to live, the only thing standing between me and journeying is the fact that it terrifies me; trains and such, i don’t like it. I hate travelling. But, when i manage to overcome that, i’ll be going to both Norwich and Farnham to see some people, it’ll be nice 🙂 Making new connections and strengthening old ones, it’s a positive goal.

I know this post is very …eh… in terms of quality, but oh well, it’s my little place to express and i’ll do whatever i want 😀
I know that it isn’t the best read, but as i have said, at this moment words are not my forte. While i’m feeling kind of eh right now, I think when i speak to some people i’ll pick up again, and so i should be back soon with some posts that make a little more sense.

Songs of the day: Mayday Parade – Demons AND Mayday Parade – Terrible Things

Cya soon guys, have an amazing day. Share your smiles! ❤

Here 😉
Doodle

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